The Adventures of Amestris
by munchingpotatoes123
Summary: What if Amestris was a Nation in Hetalia? Ya' know, that awkward short one standing next to Germany...yeah, that one. This story has no plot, just a collection of random stories. Kind of Hetalia-like...sort of? I dunno.
1. Chapter 1

The country of Amestris was slowly scanning the room, there was a discussion about global warming or something. He wasn't paying any attention, and it seemed like no other nations were paying attention either. Most of them were doodling, falling asleep or on their phone. Germany, however, was pretending to pay attention, but really, he was thinking about God-knows-what. Nobody really knew what he was thinking and, frankly, Amestris didn't want to know.

He sighed quietly and slumped in his chair. He was thinking of what countries he should make an alliance with. After the war with Ishval and the impending war with Drachma, he didn't want any more trouble if things got ugly, thus, teaming up with someone else would be genius. That is, if there was anyone good around. Most of the people here were insane! Italy was too bouncy and annoying, and he kept pestering him about pasta.

England seemed like he had a stick up his a$$ his entire life, plus he called him short, so, yeah. Russia was just...no. America was too loud and he was pretty sure that he would die in a couple years due to all the food he was eating, plus his presidential candidates were a wreck. Japan was too quiet and shy, he wanted someone he could trust with codes for nukes and stuff, not a little Asian man who's been cooped up in his room his whole life.

Canadia seemed ok, but he has the same problem as Japan, too quiet and shy. France was annoying and creepy, plus he keeps winking at Amestris, which made him really, really uncomfortable. Heck, the only decent options were Germany and China. But if China ever rebelled, he would most likely lose and become a colony. And he wanted to stop wars, not start them for freedom, so...Germany it was. Germany was strong and responsible, but if he rebelled, then it wouldn't be too much trouble for Amestris to take him down.

After that God-awful meeting, Amestris stomped up to Germany. Who was engaging in a conversation with Italy and Japan. Honestly, Amestris had no idea why he hung out with these guys, he was obviously superior in every way, so what gives? Anyway, Amestris walked up to Germany and cleared his throat, which grabbed the attention of the three nations. He pressed his finger on Germany's chest. "You. Me. Alliance. Now," he said. The nation merely shrugged. "Uh, sure," he said and Amestris stomped away.

 **So, not bad, huh? I'm having these chapters in the style of actual Hetalia episodes. Short and comical, not exactly funny, but** _**comical**_ **. Please review :D**

 **Yes, I know, my way of censoring bad words are extremely lame. Shut up, ok ;-;**


	2. Chapter 2

Germany, Italy, and Japan were all lounging around, bored out of their skulls while their newest member was doing...something at his work-table. Their new ally sure was interesting, he had a knack for inventing things and starting wars. However, he was also very powerful, and proved to be a force to be reckoned with. "Ugh, Amestris, are you done already? What are you working on anyways?" Italy asked after a solid hour of nothing but tinkering noises and the occasional cough or sneeze.

"Shh, shut up, I'm making new automail," he said and Italy groaned and stuffed his face into a pillow. The new word seemed to catch Japan's attention and he looked over at what Amestris was doing. "What is automail?" He asked, mildly curious at what he was doing. "Automail are prosthetic limbs that can be attached to a person's nervous system to function like a real limb," he explained, hardly breaking concentration from his work.

This time, Germany looked over his shoulder to look at whatever Amestris was doing. "Those seem really advanced," he said and Amestris took off his goggles to look at Japan and Germany. "Yeah, they are. Right now I'm working on a newer, slimmer model that works better in the Winter. Most automail gets stiff and worse in the cold," he said, grabbing the two Nation's attention while Italy was happily taking a nap, probably thinking about pasta.

"Yeah, our new Fuhrer, Fuhrer King Bradley, made a new law making it so that normal civilians who lost their limbs in accidents could get automail too. For some reason, the last stupid Fuhrer made it so that only people in the military could get automail. Apparently it was "too expensive" and "too painful for anyone other than hardened war veterans" pfft. What a bunch of babies," he rambled.

"You seem awfully happy about this new law…" Germany observed and Amestris beamed. "Happy? I'm fu**ing ecstatic! Do you know how much I can tax those little runts for new automail and automail fees? I could finally fight a war without nearly getting bankrupt!" He said. He then went on on an hour-long ramble about how the old Fuhrer was stupid and a useless bastard while the new Fuhrer actually did his Goddamn job and didn't slack around.

It seemed that Amestris loved the new Fuhrer.

That is...until a couple of years later.

Amestris barged through the door and threw a pile of paperwork on the ground. This distracted Germany, who was reading the newspaper, and Japan, who was drinking tea. Italy, however, remained happily asleep. "I SWEAR TO GOD THAT FU**ING BASTARD IS GOING TO DIE! I'M GOING TO SLIT HIS FU**ING NECK IN HIS SLEEP!" Amestris continued the long string of curses and swears until Germany finally sighed and took off his reading glasses. "Alright, who called you short this time?"

Amestris, who was still infuriated, turned his head to the Nation sitting comfortably in his chair. "No one, that's who. It's that stupid fu**ing Fuhrer!" He said and Germany raised an eyebrow, "you mean the one you praised for being "the best Fuhrer in the history of Amestris"?" Germany asked and Amestris nodded, "yeah, apparently he's been starting wars on purpose for some sort of ritual for a God that created him to be a puppet," he said and Germany raised an eyebrow while Japan cocked his head to the side.

"Wait, what was that last part?" He asked, but Amestris just ignored him, "I mean, is he trying to bankrupt me?! Doesn't that bastard know that I'm not made out of money?! I swear to God when I…" Germany sighed. Leave it to Amestris to care more about his financial stability than the fact that his leader might be in a secret conspiracy and might not even be human.


	3. Chapter 3

Germany and Amestris were both walking down a gravel path, talking about tank formations and whatnot. "So anyway, my idea is that-" Amestris suddenly stopped talking and turned deathly pale. Germany wondered what could've gotten the short country so spooked when he looked at what Amestris was looking at. There he saw, what he presumed, was a country. Thing is, Germany had never seen him before.

The country was really tall and muscled. He almost had the build of Germany. And he had dark skin, red eyes, white hair and an "X" shaped scar on his face. This strange person/nation caught sight of them and trudged towards them. Amestris gulped before finally composing himself. "Uh, hello Ishval...nice to see you again?" He said nervously and the strange country shot him a glare.

"Look, I'm sorry about what happened a long time ago. But we've got a newer, better Furher that won't deliberately start wars. And we're trying to make peace with the surrounding areas and-" "Good," Ishval interrupted. "Because Drachma and I have decided to form an alliance. And we've nearly gotten Creta to join us too," he said menacingly. "So if you even think about doing something like that again, we'll crush you and you're forces! Understood?" Amestris nodded quickly and Ishval trudged away, leaving the sickly pale nation behind.

Once he was away, Amestris let out a breath he'd been holding in for a little while. "So that was Ishval?" Germany asked and Amestris nodded. "Now if you'll excuse, I've got to re-inforce the Wall of Briggs. Lord knows I need protection," Amestris said and he bolted away. Germany, not wanting to miss seeing the tanks, strategies, and soldiers of Briggs, soon gave chase to Amestris.

 **Ah, this one was a bit shorter than the other chapters I've written. But fear not, viewers, for there are more chapters to come...hopefully. Please review!**


	4. Chapter 4

**To clear up some confusion. Amestris acts like Edward because I want people to look at this and say "Oh hey, that's Edward in Hetalia...cool!" but Amestris is sort of a fusion of all the FMA characters. He hates being called short like Edward, makes automail like Winry, etc. (Oh, and there are also hints of other character's personalities from different animes in there...it's your job to guess who though ;) ).So yeah...just saying if anyone was confused.**

Today was a special day for the tiny nation. Today was his birthday, and he was being given tons of stuff from people, at first he was confused. He forgot it was his birthday since he was so wrapped up with the whole incident with Ishval (A/N: I don't know if it's Ishval or Ishbal...help). So he hadn't expected to be given presents from Germany and China and a surprise birthday party thrown by Italy which, although he appreciated the gesture, gave him a splitting headache.

"Yo! Amestris! I gotta thing for you!" America yelled as he waved at the short nation during his party. Amestris cringed at how loud America was and turned around to meet him. America was holding a small white box and was rushing towards Amestris. He quickly gave him the present with a big, bold smile. "Happy birthday dude!" he cheered and Amestris slowly opened the box. There were tons of possible items in that box. Maybe America gave him a cheeseburger (God he hated the grease on that stuff).

Or maybe he gave him something nice, like battle strategies or a new, advanced super weapon. Hey, he could dream. What he couldn't have possibly predicted was...a smartphone. Why would America give him something he already has? He stared at it in confusion. It looked and felt like a smartphone. But it had a lot more buttons on the side and even the back. And considering him and America's relationship, he thought this was some kind of sick joke or something. he didn't want to press the power button fear of it exploding or something. He looked over to America, who was looking at him excitedly. "C'mon bro, turn it on!"

Amestris gulped, was this a common thing in America? He decided to press the power button on the side for a couple of seconds, while praying to god it doesn't explode or like...turn into a greasy fried food or something. But instead, the screen lit up and it brought him into a different screen with stuff on it. Yep, this was DEFINITELY not an Iphone or Samsung or something, y'know, normal things. America looked disappointed. "C'mon bro, don't you know how to use this thing?" America asked. And Amestris was conflicted on whether or not saying yes.

"It's a new invention. It's like a smartphone, but it has combat features and stuff. You can hook up nukes and stuff, oh and you can also connect to military branches and stuff automatically," America explained vaguely and this automatically grabbed Amestris' attention. "Are you sure Germany didn't help you with this?" he asked once he explored a bit further and America quickly denied it. Which got a skeptical look from Amestris.

"Alright fine! Maybe Germany helped me with some of it...but I still did most of the work," America said proudly and Amestris gave him a smug grin. "Riiiiight, whatever floats your boat," Amestris said and America glared at him before his facial expression turned into a sly grin. He pressed a small button in his pocket and watched in satisfaction as Amestris' face turned from happily browsing and exploring, to fear and confusion.

"SELF DESTRUCT SEQUENCE STARTING"

"OH FUCK! AMERICA, WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING, ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL US ALL?!"

"SELF DESTRUCT IN 5…"

"Shitshitshitshitshitshitshitshitshit!"

"4…"

"Oh God, oh God, oh God, oh GOD!"

"3…"

"There were so many things I wanted to do before I die"

"2…"

"Fuck you America"

"1…"

"..."

Amestris shielded himself and America was still smiling smugly the entire time. He shut his eyes, waiting to be blown to smithereens. But instead, the unexpected happened...a small bird popped out of the screen, breaking a perfectly good device and also nearly giving Amestris a heart attack. America started laughing hard as he rolled on the floor while Amestris was clutching his heart and trying to process what just happened.

Once he realized he was being pranked on his birthday by America. He got up angrily and kicked America in the stomach. "Ow," America whined as he nursed his bruised stomach. He saw Amestris storm out of the room, face red with anger. America managed a weak laugh. "Totally worth it dude."

 **Oh man, this was so much fun to write :D poor Amestris, he doesn't deserve this :3**

 **PLEASE REVIEW :D**


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